So, here we go again to my attempts at creating mnemonic movies. It’s once again based on Ram Dass and one of his famous lectures. It’s only on audio and it’s not exactly great.
Anyways, this time I’m missing on some parts because I see them as basics or smth I’ve already learned.
The metro of Tokyo, early morning. Aikido master, confident, powerful. But never truly challenged.
A drunk comes in, a violent drunk. Immediately he insults a couple with a kid and they are swiftly escaping into the next cart. The drunk is actively looking for the next victim, an old lady is moving away too. It’s only you left and you know quite well, that with one move you will crash him into the floor. He’s an easy target. But it’s him who has to make the move first. Your ego isn’t so powerful to just attack him, but still powerful enough to create the conditions for him to make an attack. You’re looking at him, straight into the eyes, piercing him with a sense of disgust. He’s drunk, but he’s sensing your message. He’s ready to approach you… when you suddenly hear a pitchy voice: Hey, you, turn away!
It’s an old man! He’s looking for the attention of the drunk guy. You’re confused, the drunk is confused too. The old man is asking: What did you drink?
The drunk guy is like: Sake, it’s not your job.
But the old man isn’t taking any offense, he continues telling a story how he loves sake and how he likes to watch an old tree with his wife in the winter, both drinking sake to keep them warm. Then the old man asks him about his wife.
The drunk gets soft and replies: I don’t have a wife! She died. I don’t have a job, I don’t have where to live, I’m a failure.
Your compassion suddenly rises. You realize how you were going to be fighting a man who has gone through so much pain, so much suffering… you are now understanding where this violence is coming from, why it is boiling out of him. And you feel guilty. You were ready to beat a man in a sorry state…
This old mean taught you a lesson of aikido with love. Where was your aikido? You were going to be a savage, just like any other man. You were about to answer aggression with aggression instead of love and compassion.
Meditating on this lesson, you’re leaving the metro station and heading towards the nearby park. You’re in need of some alone time, you can feel the shame tearing apart your insides.
You judged when accepting was all that guy was searching for. Your insecurity, not your fake confidence took control of your emotions, your thought control.
Now inside the forest, are you judging the trees, the flowers? No. You accept them just as they are. Can you blame a tree that it’s dying or a flower that smells? You can’t. That’s nature. Then why do you blame people for what they are? If you blame them, will you change the past? Will you resurrect the tree, make the flower smell less or the man less lonely and sad? No. You won’t. You have to accept them as they are and then interact with them. If the tree is dying, look at it and see if there is some branch that might fall down. If the flower smells, look if it is some flower you might be allergic to or just embrace the smell… if the man is angry, look beyond the anger into the causes of his anger. When we react, it’s just like medicine treating symptoms without treating the underlying problems. It’s taking aspirin for a headache instead of looking at your lifestyle that might be the cause of your constant headache.
Empathy is looking beyond what we see and hear, it’s feeling for the other party. Having the curiosity to find the reasons behind their current state without any judgment, but with compassion. If you show judgment, ask yourself: do you like being judged? Change judgment with compassion, the acceptance will follow and from the resulting marriage empathy will be born.
Now you’re deep into the forest park. Take a sit next to a tree, look up into the leaves, see how many they are… all their individual forms, look beyond their forms into the sky and take a deep breath. Feel the stomach going up. Let go & feel the stomach go down. Deep breath, feel, let go, feel. On repeat. Switch off thinking, switch off the ego, switch off fear, switch on awareness. After a couple of hours… you’re a new man. You’ve forgiven yourself, you’ve taken your lesson and you’re ready to embrace life with a spring in your feet and wearing a magnetic smile :) Happy in the moment! :)
I hope I can remember these lessons. It’s so simple. We oftentimes label responses like the one of the old man as genius, but they are not genius, they are just natural. The old man was listening to his heart. He wasn’t listening to his mind’s ego, to his fears. He was seeing beyond the appearance of the drunk guy, he was able to see his life story. That’s empathy for another human being, something that all of us lack so much. When we master the fear, we will master empathy as a side effect.
This little mnemonic movie is bringing me from the state of fear and reactiveness into the state of bliss and happiness.
P.S. I wrote this while listening on repeat of this song ROBIN SCHULZ FEAT. ALIDA – IN YOUR EYES. The lyrics are very relevant to the post. It’s quite energetic, but touching :)